hello, it's holidays ?

I am trying my best to enjoy my so called 'holidays'. But these stacks of books piling up my bedroom will be the two weeks spam of enjoyment. I am forcing myself to do everything that I can to make sure all these two years syllabus enters my brain, but it seems like it is not working. Stupid people, what to do ? I realised that I Facebook more than I face my own books. Facebook will be the first one to blame if I fail my SPM this year life. I do not know how to study with my computer on, as you know, my computer is always switched on 24/7.

I chose to walk through a closed door,
although there is an open door for me.

I read your blog today. Yes, you. It is a pretty long blog. In fact, I was scrolling away till I read a post. I thought it was some kind of LMAO post, but I did not realised about it till I read for the second time. No offense, that is why I am blogging now.

I realised that how many much times of chances that I had let go because of her, and one of it is you. I know that I had poured more than enough of sacrifices, but till the end, I ended up nothing. I gave up nearly everything in my life for her, without realising that I had harm myself. I brought myself into a world that there is only her, no other else. I am wrong. I never thought of the day where she is not in the world anymore, I will be alone, going through each pages of my life.

I would like to turn back to the pages, tear it off, and write a new story again. But everything is too late. Everything is written permanently, as if it was being carved. I would like to make my choices again, but everything is too late. Each choices that I had made became mistakes. Without noticing that life is just that complicated.